John Arthur Harrison passed away November 6, 2023 at his home, at the age of 94 years. He was grateful for his longevity. I wonder that he did not want to face his Maker, hoping his Maker would forget some of his foibles. His second wife took care of him with the help of her family, alienating him from much of his family.

Despite John having 3 biological children, his second wife pretended that only her daughter from a prior relationship matters. John (Jack) liked to be admired. A few grandchildren, one a namesake, were cherished while another was left out. Jack was from a family of 6 with 5 sisters and he was among the middle. His Mother had survived an orphanage in Montreal Canada, as her parents died when young. She had immigrated to NH when workers were needed, with her sister, Aunt Nellie, as a sponsor. His mother cherished her family above all else, especially her son, who ‘could do no wrong’. His mother even took care of an out of wedlock pregnancy Jack fathered with his secretary, at the same time that his wife, Bonnie, was giving birth to their second child. This devastated Bonnie and she died in obscurity in her 80s after years of intermittent, debilitating depression. She had worked to create her own life, graduated with a community college degree in Medical Records and worked many years at Lahey Clinic in Burlington, Mass.. She loved tennis, Billie Jean King and her son.

Jack’s father was originally from England, worked as a steam-fitter in the Boston, Mass. Union, while living in Arlington, Mass.. As the family enlarged, Jacks’ family was relocated to Carlisle Mass, then a small ‘cow town’ for the homesteading life. He had a love and natural affinity for gentleman farming, hunting, fishing and the outdoor life. He learned to fly both a float plane and small passenger plane but most often secured the assurance of a professional pilot to fly his family. He had a 32’ sport fishing boat in Gloucester in the 1960s and loved to go tuna fishing with his Captain, Bob Enos. Captain Bob could find the fish without any of the current gadgets most require.

John A. Harrison was very successful in business, though he had his share of business failures in mid life as well. After his Navy stint in the Korean War as an airplane traffic controller, he returned home to Carlisle, Mass., with his first wife, Bonnie C. Pyles whom he had met in Washington DC while on leave. There he found opportunity in the newly emerging imported German Volkswagen market. He grew multiple dealerships, became Lead US Dealer of Volkswagen of America for multiple years, embracing the leadership role. The marriage to Bonnie lasted 20 years though the harm of Jack’s early playboy activities caused profound damage to the relationship and to his children. Jack had a number of lovers and not only enjoyed his fun, but began to use his family’s second home on Martha’s Vineyard for his liaisons. Alisha was the greatest ‘homewrecker’ of the marriage. All of this occurred in profound silence, such that his elder daughter quipped, ” I grew up in a freezer, silence in a depth of coldness unsurpassed.”

Jack had little moral courage regarding his second wife. Though her role as an executive’s wife was to bring two families together, she worked hard to wrap her family only around Jack. The economic resources he brought were cherished. Celebrations in recent years in his life were the evidence when none of Jack’s nieces/nephews and their children were present at family occasions. The stepmother had made friends with Jack’s one sister who operated as the Great Family Divider.

In the past years, I had managed to speak with my father alone on the phone. In these calls, I heard the love we always shared. My Mother, when I was 6, at the door of her bedroom as she cradled my new infant brother (same age as secretary’s daughter with Jack), advised me not to come in. “You are like your father.”…So, my father was my only parental link emotionally, though my mother delivered her other responsibilities of care. As I heard that love and felt it when I briefly saw him in summer 2021, he gave me a photo of me hugging my lambs. He saw the dark pain from years of challenge with very little support. However, the stepmother did not permit him to share this. She controlled all contacts. She even had her manipulative daughter phone him when I visited May 2022, to disrupt the visit, in the 20 minutes or less, I visited alone with him. He was isolated and crumbled in the face of this.

If your parent ever marries a second person within ten years of your age, know that all may seem ok in the early years, but as time goes on in the middle and later, the fangs and claws will emerge, especially to steal all resources that would have been shared in the family.